Pay Attention to the Details

It is in the details of life that we can truly understand and see the gift, the good in,  and beauty of the life we have.  Everyday that we wake up and consciously take our first breath is the first thing we must be thankful for.  It is the first time we must stop, look in our heart, and begin to analyze each moment from there.  What am I doing today and how can I do it from the heart?

Each minute of every day must be analyzed not in your head as much as in your heart.  There, in the heart, lies your voice of love that knows what to do in times of stress, threat, conflict, joy, anger, reward, and more.   In every minute there is most likely some opportunity to be a better person by being thankful, by being of service to someone else, by using your gifts to reach out  or in some way to bring joy to someone, to edify them, to share with them, to lighten their load, to show you care.  Attending to each opportunity as viewed from the heart brings you a peace that sustains you even in times of extreme difficulty.  Be kind to one another, compassionate and forgiving because in forgiving you will be forgiven.  In condemning you will be condemned.  You may not always succeed but if you are conscious of your choice – later that evening when you review your day and examine your conscience you will know where you have succeeded and where, perhaps, you can do better.

Staying conscious in the moment from the heart makes YOU ALIVE.  It simultaneously makes you see how important you are yet it humbles you to know how easily angered and easily tempted you can be to wallow in self-pity, take things out on others, and do what you know is wrong.  It is an amazing experience and it gives you the courage to look life in the eye and grab at it.   It makes you want to get out of bed and see what life has in store for you that day.   You stop thinking in terms of good or bad or what has to be done or what you have to do and you have the courage to live in the moment.  When what you have to do comes up, you look in your heart for the right way to be.   If that hard conversation has to occur, you look in your heart as to how to handle it.  Their comes a strength and security when you stop worrying and spinning in your head and release yourself to your heart.   It guides you and always knows the answer.

No, not everything is going to feel good.  But feelings are not the appropriate judge of what is good or not good for you.  You know that in your heart.  In fact, your feelings can be deceptive for sure!  That is why whether it feels good or whether  it feels bad, you have to search your heart because this situation may be an important lesson for you.  This lesson may even have bitter consequences.  Face them.  You know in your heart you must.  And if you miss the lesson because you choose another route then you will see it again and again until you conquer it.    Fight it all you want, the lesson will return.  Looking in your heart brings you truth always and facing that truth moves you forward at a speed you will not believe.

Examine your conscience daily at the end of your day and see for yourself your strengths and weaknesses.   Examine your heart constantly and you will begin to see yourself in others and you will identify with people instead of seeing them as so separate from you or their ideas so foreign to you.  People have needs just like you.  They are people not aliens.  They may not be looking in their heart.  Does that mean you dont either?  No, it means you must all the more.  Do this and you will start to know and understand people better.  Your relationships will improve and your capacity to love will increase and you will succeed in overcoming your negative self that seeks only to serve yourself, only to look out for yourself, only to give to yourself – constantly anxious about whether you are getting your due and whether you are being recognized.    That negative self feeds anger and does not let go and the more you do not let go the more the negativity overtakes you.  It takes effort.  It takes grand effort all the time many times a day to step out of the darkness.

Do not be afraid.  Be courageous.  The heart of man contains universal truths that we all know.  Those truths bind us together and the most important truth is that love conquers all.  Sending love out in the world, loving yourself, loving others in spite of themselves will do wonders for your ways of dealing with conflict, stress, failure, accomplishments, and more.

In our mediation/facilitation practice we direct people to the underlying issues that live in their hearts.  We bring these issues to the forefront  in order to help people transcend issues that polarize or lock them too tightly into a position.   By unlocking the heart, we help open the person to hearing the other and understanding the needs of the other.  This in turn allows compromise to occur.  Once you can empathize with another and you can really listen to them without being encumbered by your own needs, they lose the “enemy” status and you begin to feel for them and often even come to understand and identify with in a way that allows you to want to reach compromise.