One of the worst results of divorce is the couple that continues to prolong the divorce war and make the kids part of it. Most of the time these spouses do not realize they are doing it because they are only caught up in their own emotions and needs. Or they have justified to themselves that they are behaving as they do to protect the kids or to help the kids. That is usually hogwash.
Divorce is awful for kids…at any age. Older kids, younger kids, teens – all are severely affected by divorce. The research is out there. Read it. If you are being divorced…if you are divorcing your spouse…please consider carefully the Parenting Plan for your kids. There are no final answers when it comes to kids. Your plan cannot account for 18 years straight. If you are trying to do that you are hurting your kids and being selfish. Stop it.
Creating the Parenting Plan will come with significant difficulties especially if your divorce is difficult. This article discusses how to put your children first. Specifically, it talks about the necessity of considering children’s evolving and growing needs. In reality, this means that you and your ex, whether between yourselves or through a mediative process, over time, will be talking about and modifying the Parenting Plan as the kids’ needs require.
Yeah…that’s right. Divorce does not end it. Mothers and Fathers are mothers and fathers even after divorce and that requires parental meetings and joint decision-making related to your kids. This crucial fact is often not discussed in divorce proceedings because spouses and their attorneys fail to accept this reality, minimize it because money issues become paramount, or worse, try to create a Parenting Plan that never needs updating. Children need parents, who even after divorce, are willing to parent in a way that takes into consideration the child’s needs which includes access to their other parent.