Justice. We look for it in our rights-based system relying on our attorney to know the law and push our position. It is our way of life. We cling to it tightly and use it for every problem we have. Justice certainly does not always come out of the courtroom. We know that. History has shown us that repeatedly. Sometimes, justice comes over slow periods of time with lots of struggling, pain, sacrifice. Other times, no justice is felt.

We Christians believe that Jesus Christ came for one purpose – to reconcile us to the Father and, in other words, to make us right with the Father. We owed a debt we could not pay so He who did not owe the debt paid it for us. It was His purpose from the beginning – to pay the cost for sin. And the cost? the death of the innocent one. Yes, the innocent one – condemned by worldly power after many trial-like proceedings. Was that justice in the worldly sense? no way. Did He do it willingly and out of Love. yup. Are we called to do the same? Yup.

So how are we to save ourselves, move forward, live in the face of injustice? Hold on to Him who tells us to Love. That when we are in conflict, when we are at odds with others, love more not less. That’s right…step back and love more. We have plenty of examples of people who have done this. Some have loved more within the system, others have loved outside of it. Mostly, their lives end in sacrifice because what greater love is there than when one gives his life for his friend.

Do we do this for our neighbor, our wife, our child, our workmate, our friend? Or do we cling with everything we are to our own position seeking to control the outcome and putting our faith once again in justice we have such a small chance of finding? No matter what the problem, we must control it and we do not trust Love to solve it. We cannot wait for the effects of love. We know it will be rejected and we are fearful of the next step. We will not take the pain – the very real pain – that comes with taking the position of Love. Our impatience, fear, and need to assert will get in the way. But being patient, letting go of fear, and allowing His will to control will bring you a peace you can live with and move with and most of all a satisfaction that is real and deeply felt.

Cary and I continue to offer families other options of dealing with conflict whether it be within the family or in the workplace. Letting a third person in who can help you dissect the problem from many perspectives including the legal and moral and cost analysis and then look at creative solutions can change the process into one of growth, empowerment, freedom, and a sense of relationship with self and others never contemplated. The family and workplace are the main identities of humans and as such, Cary and I have chosen to emphasize these two areas in our conflict resolution practice. We see people clinging tightly to positions in family and work situations that can and do have devastating effects on them, their identity at work, their children, and their family. These people are relying on the courtroom to find justice. Perhaps, but the chances are small and the win/lose disparity huge. It’s quite a gamble and with that ride, you lose so much in collateral costs to your own well-being even in the win. Think about another route. Do not be afraid for although we guarantee pain and suffering, this pain and suffering brings a deeper sense of peace and satisfaction than can ever be felt in the courtroom.